Self worth - Where do you focus?

Desiring God published an article, "The Insanity of Self Care" that really got me thinking.

I've been in a stage in my life where I am discovering myself in a way. I'm reconnecting with parts of myself I tried to part with years ago, and a lot of wounds are finally healing. Quite frankly it all started happening, because I stopped running from myself.

When you face yourself head on for who you really are inside and out, you may be surprised by what you find.

I'm grateful God has kept me all these years. I am grateful I have had truth spoken to me since 2007 when life as I knew it could no longer continue. I am especially grateful for my husband for so many reason that I can't possible begin to describe them here without writing a book.

In the past couple of years God has been doing some serious work in my life. He's opened my eyes to a lot of things, mostly good. True, I had to come face to face with my sin. I have had to own up to my nature that is far from perfect. I've had my moments that were consumed mostly with fear and guilt rather than anything God wanted for me, but I've come out on the other side. All the things I have been taught, read, heard, have all clicked into place in my faith over the last few years. The "ah ha!" moments when faith becomes so much more than pretty words and actually engages you in reality in a way you didn't realize was possible. Life starts throwing things at you that test your faith in ways you didn't realize it could, makes you stand up for what you really believe in. Hopefully that's what happens anyway.

Which brings me back to the article I mentioned. There is a lot of attention these days on being okay with who you are, where you are, what you have. Enjoying every little detail of life to help get you through. I think we should do those things. I think we should enjoy even the tiniest aspects of our day, but because of God, not because of us. I understand wanting to feel good. I understand wanting to feel fulfilled, but like the article addresses, those things can't be done through vanity. If we put ourselves at the center of our worlds, what happens when we fail? How then do we go on? If and when we break how do we sustain our worth?

We can't.

Our worth isn't found in ourselves. We are imperfect. But. We have been given worth from our Creator. It doesn't come from us. It is out of our hands, our broken, twisted control. Thank God.

I can't find a whole lot of worth in me aside from Christ. But in Christ, I find nothing but worth.

God has given me so much, not just material things and people, but the gifts, desires, abilities, etc. He has weaved wonderful things into who I am supposed to be. Things He intended from the beginning. Things He doesn't want drowned out by fear or guilt or pain. Things He wants me to hold onto and let Him develop. God has a plan. God has a purpose. I'm in it, there is no arguing that, or I wouldn't be here.



Now, another thing the article made me think of was that the movement of self care in part comes from the blanket of guilt we put on in so many circumstances. I think this movement is trying to free us from guilt we don't deserve. Guilt that comes from failing other people's expectations, perhaps? Which is a good thing, but what is at the center of that matters. How can we really be free of guilt? How can we really feel free to care for ourselves as we should without the fear of disappointing people or not turning out how the world would like? I've already given the answer to that. When we are in Christ, what the world thinks shouldn't matter. I know we easily fall victim to it, but the truth is, again, our worth is in God, not the world. No amount of exercise, healthy eating, "conscious" choices, positive quotes, encouraging books, beautiful pictures, perfect parenting, simple living, helping others, enjoying nature, etc., will give us the worth God does. If we want to do these things because of God, great, but instead of? Without knowledge of?

Some food for thought.

Now I should start the blog post I came here to write about, a book I keep mentioning on social media, Having a Martha Home the Mary Way! Which actually does a fabulous job of explaining how our worth as homemakers does not come from the condition of our house, but from God too! Who knew?!?! Having a satisfied soul does not come from doing life perfectly by anyone's standards. Having a satisfied soul comes from resting in God. Going to Him daily, carrying His promises around with us always, following His plan for our life, whatever that may be, and in ordinary ways.

Stay tuned.