"Gentle Homemaking" & "What Does It Mean to Have a Martha House the Mary Way?"

For those of you don't know this about me, I love to analyze books, especially books I relate to so well or that strike a chord deep inside of me.

Much like Having a Martha Home the Mary Way: 31 Days to A Clean House and A Satisfied Soul by Sarah Mae did.

So, the reality is, I can't review this book in one blog post, because the introductory chapters hit me deep. So much so that I felt compelled to message Sarah herself and tell her so. It was just so appointed by God at the time and still is.

At the time that I started reading the book a few weeks ago, I had been in conversation with a wonderful friend of mine in which I had mentioned reconnecting with the parts of me I had cut off several years ago. I alluded to this in my last blog post. I think I'm going to elaborate a bit here. I try not to be too detailed when I blog, but I think it is warranted here, because of the work God is doing in this area in my life.

He was a very supportive friend at the time and one of the few I still have from this particular point in my life. He  helped bring out some of the best things in me back in the day, things I have since run from. I went through some painful experiences among my closest friends, and quite frankly it had shattering affects on my life then and my relationships since then. I heaped everything about myself into one pile that I related to all the bad in my life. I did my absolute best to part with it all. The emotions, the creativity, the free spirited nature I once felt, the ability to soak up the good in all things, music, writing, expression in many forms, my dramatic personality, but most importantly the ability to connect with God in all these ways. I chalked it up to immaturity, lack of wisdom, the part of me that was fallen, the reasons bad things happened. The people who used to affirm the good things in me were gone, and I genuinely thought that meant all these things should follow. It wasn't all just burning bridges and trying to be different though. I did sense God wanted me to refocus on Him and less on myself. We all need that, right? I needed to be looking to God to affirm things in me and call out things in me. I just happened to think, incorrectly, He wanted me to bury who I was.

I went in alone though. I cut one too many ties, including the ways I knew how to experience God. So I floundered for quite some time trying to figure out how I was supposed to be engaged in my faith without connecting it to so many parts of me. (Wasn't going to happen, the two have to connect. Kinda the point of faith.)

But then I met my husband, and he anchored me.

So what does this have to do with the book? Yeah yeah, I'm getting there.

At the very beginning of the book Sarah introduced in the idea of not good homemaking, but "gentle" . . . and I knew I was in for it. What part of dramatic, emotional, and free spirited translates into gentle? I mean, right?! I was like, oh here we go getting right to my struggle on page 1!! Literally, the first page of the introduction.

I took a deep breath and thought, "Okay, God, this is clearly going to be another tool You use to help me with being gentle, which I so long to be." I didn't start crying yet though, no that happened 20 words later. (Did I mention I'm emotional?) And I quote, ". . . "gentle homemaking," which is the ability to be gentle and kind with ourselves in the process of making and keeping a home while being gentle and kind to those around us." (Emphasis given by me on the word that produced tears in my eyes.) I thought this was a book about cleaning? Oh wait . . . A Satisfied Soul. This just got real.

"We are quick to condemn ourselves and our efforts when things don't work out the way we envisioned . . . the only thing those condemning voices do is paralyze us from getting on with our lives, trusting God in our weaknesses, and moving forward in faith." This is just too true. In the past and even now, I often think of gentleness as an outward motion. I am to be gentle to my kids, my husband, my friends, my family, etc. Kind of the same deal with love in general, I think of it in terms of how I am behaving towards others. But I forget that I love because He first loved me. I must love the person God created in me for His purpose as well. I must be gentle with myself too. Unlike I was almost 9 years ago and many time since then. I was harsh. I certainly lacked faith and trust too.

Sarah goes on to profile Martha and Mary, and that is when all of this really hit me and tied into my previous conversations about reconciling who I am now with who I was back when.

There are good characteristics of Martha she pointed out that I believe I too posses, but what struck me was her anxiety. I struggle with this now, but even more so just a couple years ago when our life was rocky. " . . . it hasn't quite sunk into her heart that God has promised and can be trusted to provide for them." I can say this is less true of me as time goes on, but it really took a long time to sink in deep.

And then Mary. I'm going to continue to let Sarah's words do the talking for a bit. "Mary allows herself to be vulnerable, and she is filled up inside with emotion, which she releases at the proper time. She is wise and faithful, and she knows what really matters. Her heart is laid bare, and she doesn't care who sees because she just wants Jesus." Oh my soul. "We don't have to have a certain "right" personality to be loved. Jesus loves us as we are. But one way He shows His love to us is to uncover us, because He sees into the deep places where our wounds and worries are hidden. He knows each one of them, and He wants us to be free from their grip and be whole. . . . I want you to sit with Him and let Him heal you, so you can be whole."

I. Can't. Even. (still brings me to tears)

I know I have quoted a lot here, but I really couldn't help it. I can't convey what this book has meant to me in this season of my life without sharing some of the words that spoke to me.

The profile of Mary here is exactly what I've been praying for in my life as I reconnect with the parts of me I tried so hard to part with and connect it to the wisdom I have gained and my faith that has grown since then. This brought me to tears. Reading this was so perfectly timed in my life and I believe was God's way of getting through to me that He is going to heal me. He is going to finish this work in me. He is going to use the person He made me to be, crazy personality and all.

That's the thing though. HE is going to do it. Which is exactly what Sarah covers next, and we are still only in the introductory chapters here!!! It is so easy to forget that God is the one doing the work and seek to control things in our own lives. It is a heavy burden to try to right wrongs and do all the work. One we don't have to shoulder.

Isaiah 64:8
O LORD, You are our Father,
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all of us are the work of Your hands.

(Cue "Hands of the Potter" by Caedmon's Call)

"We must consciously be willing to let the Holy Spirit step in." The loudest voice in our heads should be God's. He directs our steps day in and day out. Every choice, detail, move. In real life that means choosing to trust that and do what you can. It doesn't matter that there are things you fail at or can't do. That won't stop Him and shouldn't stop you. Be who you are, as you are, surrendered to God to do as He will, when He will. He. Will. Do. It.

That's where I'm going to leave off. Just before the actually chapters start, ha! The challenges moving forward in the book are broken down into Martha:cleaning & Mary:soul work. Sarah encourages to get a hold of God, and let me tell ya', He'll get a hold of you!

I have underlined, circled, starred, and made notes all the way through this book, so I have plenty more to say! I just felt this was the most personal and important impact this book has had on me, and certainly my main motivation for promoting it.

Read about Sarah's story that comes right after her profiling of Martha and Mary in the book!

If you didn't click the link to listen to the song, here ya go!