God, help my attitude.

Okay, so the year is about done. Thank God . . .

But does it really matter? I mean it is not like suddenly everything is subject to change come midnight tomorrow night. Our year of things breaking and poor health could roll right into another one.

And it will. My health issues are only partially solved. A work in progress that I have very little energy to actually devote myself to. We are about to say good bye to one vehicle and begin the search for another. And buying cars is always a gamble . . .
There are a lot of unknowns in our life right now that hopefully will be answered soon. I am super impatient, and even though I am learning trust and worrying less, I still would like to know. . . I will in time. I'm still figuring out my business and the direction I want to take. Who knew that could take so much time?!

So what am I working for this year? I am the type of person who is always thinking "What did I do wrong? How can I do it differently? How do I do better?" I don't need to stop and make a big deal out of bettering my life this new years. I need to stop and love my life. Love today, because it is all I have as far as I know.

Life is not perfect. It is quite ugly at times. And even still . . . this is the day the Lord has made, and it is good. My new year's resolution, if you will, is to let God change my heart even more. Push my boundaries in my faith. Practice more spiritual discipline. Enjoy the life I have. Make the best of the worst. Celebrate the little joys of life. Forgive myself when I fail. Love others. Be myself, flaws and all, unapologetic for the work God is doing in my life and the progress I have yet to make.

I need a change of attitude. I've been too happy to see 2015 go. It was rough in many ways. It challenged us more than we wanted it too. We are coming out of it changed. I am better without even trying, because that is the business God is in anyway. He is always refining us. I don't need to freak out about whether or not I will be bettered this year. I will be. He will make sure of it. I just need to trust, surrender, and obey. I can't even begin to imagine what this next year will hold for us. I'm ready for it though.

Bring it on, 2016. What do I have to fear?