I'm done too.

My toddler is almost two.

end blog

Enough said right? No, but seriously. Libby is 21 months old and has reached a beloved phase of neophobia. The fear of new foods . . . I'm not some amazing person who just whipped that one out of her glorious vocabulary (sometimes I cheat on words with friends . . . ). In fact I just learned it today.

My mother sent me a link to an article about just this, and how to deal with meal times for toddlers.

It was helpful and encouraging, because I'm already doing a lot of what it suggested. It was very informative though, and right now I could just use some relating . . .

Last night I went to dinner guns loaded (for various reasons, but) mostly in anticipation of Libby refusing beef and veggie stew. (Which was delicious, thanks gram!) Her food was separated by type on her plate, because she doesn't really do mixed items well. She ate a few pieces and then suddenly I was being bumped by a plate that was being handed back to me. "Ah done" . . . No, no, no. You are not done.
The two days before this it had been discovered that if she was given a sandwich (dinner put in between two pieces of bread) she would eat it. So I attempted

halfheartedly attempted . . .

See I sit between the table and window in our kitchen. To my left is a high chair, to my right is my husband . . . there is always something (multiple) I forgot to get before trapping myself. Trapped is dramatic. I could slide the high chair out of my way, go around my dad, and get what I need . . . but seriously sometimes when you sit down to dinner you sit down. Not to get up again until you have to do the next thing.

So I made a sandwich with her dinner right in front of her. I really wasn't thinking about the fact that she probably wouldn't eat it if I made it in front of her until I had already started making it. So it was too late. Damage done. She did however eat 4 bites of it.
(At which point I said "whammy" and thought my entire day was a success just because of that moment.)

And then she started to pick dinner out of it and eat the bread.(Then I remembered I failed at being a good mother, just kidding, I really didn't care because it had been a long day and I thought, fine don't eat then. Sometimes I want to be like "I'm done too! Let's all whine and starve!")

Okay, so the article said not to offer an alternative. Just try again later. I get that. I do. I even agree. And then I remember that later I'll be nursing Ben again, changing diapers, stumbling over toys that someone has to pick up, and enforcing bed time . . . I'm not always going to want to come back to dinner. Dinner is when dinner is. I don't want to start the process of finding something she will eat all over again. I did that once, and it wasn't fun the 1st time . . . I also don't want her waking up in the middle of the night or early in the morning because she is hungry. I need my sleep, and now that Benny is sleeping through the night . . . I expect my sleep. Nothing worse than interrupting expected sleep. (Probably shouldn't expect it with kids so young, but I'm human. I desire and expect some amount of uninterrupted sleep.)

So she had Greek yogurt for dinner. Oh and top that off . . . my sister fed it to her. One of the joys and curses of living with people. Sometimes they do exactly what you were about to like in this situation. I was about to ask her if she would eat yogurt. I don't know if my sister saw my face and wanted to help me, or if she wanted Libby to shut it and eat just as badly as I did. But she jumped up and took over.

I've chosen to accept that there are things she will not eat. She might eat them 2 hours before, but suddenly no. She loves peas, and carrots, and sometimes beef, and sometimes potatoes . . . just not then. That's just the way it goes at this age. I'm going to try to get her to eat things, but eventually I claim defeat and feed her something she will eat without me having to pull out all the stops . . . She's too young for timers. Someday though . . . I look forward to "You have 2 minutes to eat those 2 bites of peas or you will go to bed." I was raised on the microwave timer method. It worked. We ate it or went to bed.

I will say that I give her healthy alternatives. We eat healthy in general so there really aren't bad options available. She just may have had more fruit than veggies or more dairy than something. Anyway. I'm all about peanut butter and jelly for dinner sometimes if it will get her to be quite and eat! Sigh . . .

She ate lunch with no fuss today, and is now waking up from a fabulous nap. I'm very distracted and can't remember if I wanted to write more before I just re read everything. So now I'm done. "Ah done."

Protect Your Minds

For whatever reason the issue of protection has been coming up a lot in my interactions with people or things I'm reading/learning.

I don't remember who I was talking to the other day, but the subject of what music kids listen to came up. Something that never ceases to amaze me is how concerned parents are with protecting their children physically, yet they don't seem to pay any attention to what the kids are filling their minds with. This is a big problem for many reasons.

Kids of any and all ages model behavior they are perceiving, and today's music makes some awful things seem like a whole lot of fun. Some messages that are really common in secular music today on the top 40 are: sex with strangers is fun which makes it perfectly okay, dancing and clubbing is for finding a partner for the evening, sex is only about pleasure, sex isn't complicated and has no consequences, do what ever you want and when ever you want to, you don't have to worry about consequences, being drunk is the most fun you can have, being feminine means dressing to arouse, cheating is fun and not a big deal, life should be like the movies, single is not ideal, violence can be sexy, sexy is what matters, if life isn't exploding with excitement at all moments then you need to ditch and find something better, etc . . .

You have to listen to a lot of crap to find the good songs most days.

I'm not blogging to get people to stop listening to secular music, but it's so important to think about the messages you fill your head with. I don't ever live out anything in those songs, but those messages can get to me. I find myself at times thinking, "Why am I not out there having all that fun?" Then I have to remind myself "oh wait . . . all that stuff has horrible consequences, not to mention I absolutely love my life and enjoy it! I never want to actually do those things. The fun they are having ALL THE TIME is what is so attractive to me."

I've kind of gone off on a rabbit trail here . . . I'll try to get back to my point, and that is that parents/peers who are aware/roll models need to start paying attention to what kids are listening to. Believe it or not music has a huge influence on behavior. Why? Music gets at your mind. It really does. So many people connect well with music, and if they are connecting well with negative or inappropriate messages then they may tend to dwell there. This could easily lead to inappropriate and destructive behavior. Start caring.

Some people don't even notice lyrics of songs, and just enjoy the beat. I can appreciate that, because I've been there and at times I do listen to a song because it gets me up and moving . . . however, whether you catch up on them or not those messages are still getting in your head. Sometimes people are also watching you listen to inappropriate music which may cause them to think you approve of what the message is. I don't think this is the case most of the time, but . . . food for thought. . .

I'll have to give a little shout out to my mother, because she always knew what we were listening to and what it meant. She used to ruin so many songs for us because she would ask "Do you know what this song means?" Then we would have to actually listen to the lyrics and process it beyond the beat. Often times it was awkward if a song was about sex and then we realized our mother knew that and wanted to talk about it. Hahahaha. . . It really drove me nuts, but I am so grateful that she did that. She really cared about what we were listening to. My parents also wouldn't buy us music that was inappropriate. I mean we found ways to get it if we really wanted it, but still . . . they monitored that stuff and talked about it with us so we knew why it mattered to pay attention to content. I think more parents should be doing this. If they are then great!

This doesn't just apply to music that is about getting drunk and laid, but music that is always about how awful things are or music that simply makes you feel sad. Why dwell there? Maybe having music that expresses your feelings better than you can is good in moderation, but constantly listening to it doesn't encourage you to pull away from that or improve. Ya know what I mean?

I hope this made some sense and is at least slightly encouraging. I don't mean to criticize people who love secular music. I really like some of it too . . . just not most of it and for good reasons.

Oh just to add . . . this same idea applies to Christian music too. Although Christian music is generally positive or trying to point in the right direction some of it really misses the mark or is just dead wrong and causes more damage than good because people buy into the message like with any kind of music . . .

I'm really rambling now. I'll end with this.

Music affects your thoughts, feelings, moods, behavior, you get the picture . . .
so listen to music that will have a positive/productive outcome.