Friday, June 5, 2015

Where would You have me?

I'm having one of those "I hate social media, let me turn to it for inspiration for my real life." Kind of days. Thoughts that make you smack your own face. 

It's been an "I want to be plugged into my life so much today, but the Kindle is calling my name" kind of morning.

Then, while relaxing, social media silences that desire once and for all (for the day at least). Crap. Mostly crap. A few great posts, inspirational things, beautiful art, photographs that made me smile, but a load of crap.

Oh, and of course after being repulsed by people on the internet (and myself for continually going there) there is this feeling that I must do something.

1) I must go do something pleasing to my senses, to clear my mind of all that garbage. Like smell my favorite candle. Sing my favorite hymn. Eat something delicious . . .

2) I must resist the crap trap that robs me of my time. 

3) I must do something about it! Grr why do I feel that way?!?!

I know it is out there. I can't ignore it. I don't want to be totally absent from it. There are good things about social media that I do not choose to live without. But what should my presence there be like? Do I simply take from it the resources I enjoy or do I participate? If I participate, then how?

Obviously I share family related things, job related things . . . keep distant family members up to date on my children and their ridiculousness. 

Obviously, I blog. But not always with ease. I don't always know if I should. Is this one more place that keeps me from my life or is it an important part of my life?  Reflection, growth, etc. 
There are plenty of good voices out there already, with much bigger followings. I know this is not a missing ingredient out there. I don't do it to gain a following. I have received feedback from people who read along and want me to continue.

But I don't like doing things without a goal, or purpose. I am aiming to achieve something here.

I like to share. I like to encourage. I like to learn out loud. I like to talk, obviously. I want to be what someone has been to me, a positive voice in a very chaotic scene. I don't have answers to everything going on in social media/politics/etc. I'm not nearly as well educated as some assume I am.

There is something very encouraging about the every day though. Normal, stripped down, non-glamorous, simple  . . . what most of us are. 

Social media very quickly becomes a place to envy, give false impressions, seek glory, oh the list goes on. Many times I leave my newsfeed wanting something, missing the freedom to do more of what I want (like before kids), wishing I was like someone else, irritated with politics and faith arguments, looking around unsatisfied with what I have . . . 

Rarely do I think, "That was time well spent." Which, in a way, I am grateful for, because it is helping me see just how much good is in real life. Real life has its messes, controversies, disappointments for sure, but my life is not nearly as sad as social media. The worries of the world are not so intense in my every day life. My every day life reminds me that I am not supposed to worry anyway. For the love . . . 

I want to be connected to people I care about. People in my life. Sadly, that isn't as easy as it sounds. Distance, time, work, life ya know? So, yeah sometimes I use social media purely to socialize, crazy concept. Not to rant or rave, but to share goat videos, laugh about something, talk to a friend . . .

I hope for people, myself included, to care less about everybody out there and more about the people in their own lives. Give those relationships time and effort. 

So, I started this post asking myself where God wanted me present. I know the answer is in my life. He gave it to me to be lived fully, and I don't think the internet is the main scene for that. It has its place for good, and I hope to use it so. I will continue to occasionally blog, because I enjoy it. But, seriously, someone help keep me accountable for staying offline more! 

I'm off to use what is left of nap time to clean something! Go do something. ;)

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