Struggle out Loud

There are a lot of things bouncing around in my puny little brain, per usual . . .

One of them being the voice of the "It is what it is" perspective, which does not resonate well with me. At all.

It's bugging me, so Imma blog about it, naturally. 

There is just something about that phrase, attitude, point of view, etc., that at face value seems quite stand offish. Like someone and/or their problems are being written off. "It is what it is" can't just be said and left alone. There is too much room for interpretation, and in my head, negative interpretation. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels that way or not. I'm sure I'm not. Who is ever the only one? I don't think such a thing really exists.

"What" needs to be defined. What is it? and WHAT do you do about it? It isn't just what it is . . . you can't end there. I think I most often hear the phrase when something unfortunate has happened and someone is trying to get me to move on with my life and make the best of it. Which is good . . . but you can't always just move on. Like nothing happened? Like I feel nothing about it? Like there is nothing that can be done, so who cares? Perhaps you just don't care and don't want to hear about it? Life happens. Well, yes, yes it does. Thanks for that wisdom. It will get me far in life, I'm sure.

Life does happen. It is what it is . . . for a reason. I can't just shrug my shoulders and trudge on. I'm not interested in that. I like to wrestle with things. I like to analyze the snot out of life so I can gain some understanding as to why things happen and how I can grow and change through things. I want to be able to feel out loud. Struggle out loud. We're in the Refiner's fire, constantly being refined into something more beautiful. I feel strongly about people sharing their journey with others, confessing their sins, being a witness through life. I want input, so long as I can challenge it . . . :) . . . and after a long conversation of hashing things out if someone wants to then say, "it is what it is" to end as if to say "well we've analyzed this and it comes down to, xyz, " then okay I will allow it. :) I mean, I know I have said it from time to time. But not to write someone off. I hope . . . 

Lately I've been stuck in limbo it seems. Can't quite figure out what is going on, where we are going. That sort of thing. Like there is supposed to be a next thing, but I can't figure out what that is supposed to be. I feel like I'm missing something. I'm walking around with shifty eyes all, "Okay, God, any time now. Where are the arrows pointing me in the direction I'm supposed to go? Anything? Nope, okay." 

It's not that I'm not prepared to sit still for a while. Wait. (ugh I'm so bad at that.) I guess every fiber of my being is fighting trudging on like this. Treadmill mode . . . where you run to no where for no reason other than to run. Who does that? :) 

We're wandering. I'm sure we are supposed to be in a sense. And it isn't even that we are yearning for the "promised land" so to speak. I mean sure, God is welcome to hand us a glorious rest of our lives on a silver platter, but no, I am just realizing there can be so much more good coming from me and I need to find where to let that play out. 

I've been so hesitant to write about this, because . . . well I'm a hormonal woman in a challenging position in life, so it would be easy to write my feelings off as an obvious result of wanting life to be easier and more "luxiorious". I'm not whining about the way things are. (Granted, sometimes I am whining.) I'm just reevaluating and questioning if the way we are doing things is best. There are multiple ways of doing things right. Something we are doing isn't working for us. That is obvious. But . . . ugh I can't get my finger on it. 

And yes, sometimes I'm plain discontent, and need to work on that. Guilty as charged, people. I mean come on, have you seen my pinterest? Pinterest is a tight rope for me. A fine line . . . I have to tread lightly or I can easily fall into the destructive pattern of pinning thinks I want to make me happier or better  or more like that picture of perfection that is so misguided . . . I try to pin to give myself ideas of things to do or try, not a way to be. WOW I digress. Quite the pinterjection there . . . 

Back to not being content . . . I know this is a struggle for many people. It is hard for it not to be when we sit in front of a screen observing things other people have that we don't. Not just things. We see relationships we yearn for too. That's usually the thing that gets me. And obviously sitting in front of a screen is going to help my relationships a whole lot. :) Oh my lanta.

Okay, so recently I've decided on a couple of things I NEED to be doing to help me in my current state. One is to be still and let God. Vague, but exactly the point. I need to spend more alone time with nothing. Which is easier said than done at this point, but it has just made it to the top of my list of priorities. I will make it happen.

The other thing, spend more time with people. One on one preferably, or perhaps while the little ones play. I'm open to however it will fit in my schedule. I'll be honest though, I miss coffee shops and park benches. This is where you, the reader comes in. I want YOU. 

(couldn't help myself . . .)

I don't care if you know me well or not. There are tons of people I don't know well that I would love to get to know. Perhaps I've gotten snippets of what they are like via Facebook (which is a bad place to make a judgement on someone, but still.) Either way . . . I miss meeting people and sharing life with more people. You can learn so much about life from struggling out loud with other people who are doing the same thing. I am craving some good conversations. Let's do it.

and now I've come that point of writing where I wonder if I should edit for weeks until it flows better or if I even kept on track enough to actually say what I set out to . . . and look another ellipsis. I choose Publish.
The end. Message me if you want to set up a time to chat!