There is the long drawn out "Oooohhhh . . . that's what you meant by high school is the time of your life."
(By the way, this phrase should also include college. Loads of fun. Time of your life also translates "easiest time of your life." I say that because being married to a wonderful man and having 2 beautiful kids is pretty much the greatest thing to happen to me.)
and the blunt and disappointed "Oh. Life is actually not at all what people pretended it was when they tried to point us in the best direction that was somehow going to be all we wanted for the rest of our lives. . . ."
We are caught somewhere between wanting to blame our parents/teachers/mentors/othereducatorsingeneral/selves and realizing they fed into the lie too. Somehow we all had it in our heads that everyone who ever wanted to be anyone had to go to college.
I have nothing against furthering education, and I think everyone should, at some point in life, go after an education in something they are truly passionate about. Or if they have the money to spend on it go learn something new that has always interested them. I do truly value the education I received at Eastern, and I know it was all for a reason. But at the time . . . perhaps the wrong reasons. I would never trade it for anything, because after all I met my husband the first day of classes and now we have two beautiful children. But this post isn't about the "well this never would have happened" effect of the decision behind going to a private liberal arts school. This post is about making a wise decision, and I think a lot of people will be able to relate to me and my husband.
We are in a tough spot, and there is no one really to blame. We could blame ourselves for not knowing better. We could blame our parents for not leading us down a better path. We could blame our schools for creating the pressure to do it but not educating us on how best to do it. We could blame any number of people . . . and I think every one of them should be learning from our mistakes so that we don't keep creating the same problems.
That's just it though. There is no need to place blame. We do need to learn though. We need to reflect and teach how to do it better . . .
DEBT . . . obscene amounts of debt. I was more fortunate than my husband to have more scholarships and poorer parents (aka more grants) that allowed me to go to a private school without taking out an obscene amount of loans. At least that is how I have justified it in my head. I never should have done it though. It goes against reason to go into any debt over a degree I could have gotten at my local state school had I stayed home and worked to pay for classes in addition to all the scholarships and grant money I had. Seriously, it could have been done.
My husband and I have had countless conversations about the poor decisions he made to go into so much debt and how he could have done it differently and over a longer period of time. It does matter to know what could have been done better, because someday we will be facing this with our children.
I do have to give him credit though . . . he started at a state school (doing gen eds.) until he knew what he actually wanted to go for. Biblical Studies. Well good bye state school, hello private school, and seminary.
Having a degree is a great thing. Having a degree you never actually use . . . not necessary unless you had the money and wanted to spend it that way. Definitely not worth debt for the rest of your life. I have a bachelor's in psychology, because I enjoyed it and didn't know what I wanted to do with my life other than be a mom. All I knew was that I wanted a degree in something and wanted a chance at better paying jobs. After all I didn't want to be THAT uneducated person who got a job instead of a diploma and could never hold a high paying job.
Seriously? Embarrassing to admit, I know. I originally wanted to go to school for missions, but was advised not to. I was advised to get a more generic degree that would be more practical for employment yet was still related to service to others . . . good in theory . . . doesn't play out that way at all though. But hey I'm a mom though, so I can struggle with my practically worthless degree later. That and I'm going to go with my passion for photography and start a business . . . wish I had a practical more employable business degree. Crap . . .
Anyway . . . what someone should have advised me to do was GET A JOB . . . do some interning!!! Find out what the heck interested me enough to spend tens of thousands of dollars on. I'm one of those people who likes a lot of different things and is good at a lot of different things. So it takes me some time to really know what I'll love for a long time. Which is one of the reasons I have not jumped into a masters's program! YIKES! Thankfully I love photography and don't have to go to school for it, although I could!! ugh . . .
I don't remember anyone close to me suggesting anything based on my strengths and interests. Well except for all the people who expressed disappointment in me not going to school for music. No offense music majors, but really glad I didn't do that one! :) But seriously no one ever sat me down and said . . . "You are fantastic at ________. Have you ever considered a career in it?" Or "I see your passion for photography. Why not take a few classes and get some experience to see if it could turn into a career you would love." I had people who seriously wanted me to audition for televised shows like American Idol and America's Got Talent . . . not my dream, people.
I was told this: if you want a decent job you have to go to college. If you want to do more than get by you have to go to college. You can't get a job without a degree.
Then when you are in college they tell you: you have to get a masters. Lol . .
I would like to put on record that, yes my husband is a pastor and therefore is using his schooling, but his full time job that brings in most of the money is actually one that DOES NOT REQUIRE A DEGREE. And has nothing to do with Biblical studies. I also have many jobs that don't require a degree: motherhood, sales associate, Mary Kay consultant, and photographer . . . great, awesome.
Okay, okay . . . I'm really not against a college degree. And if you know exactly what you want then go for it. I just have seen too many people go for something without really knowing what interested them or being burned out after spending 4+ years studying to do something that no longer interested them when it was all said and done.
College isn't what I was led to believe. It isn't this place to go live out your dreams to their fullest. It isn't some magical world that transforms you into a money making genius that will never make the same mistakes of people who came before . . . You don't come out with more answers than your parents or equipped to face every trial in life. And the sad thing is, most people come out with debt.
This entry is getting way too long. So I'm calling what I have so far "The Problem" and posting the rest as my response.
I am in no way trying to discourage people from going after their dreams, just realize to do so there are sacrifices. Sacrifices like not seeing family or having no spare time at all because you work 24/7 or postponing things you want or maybe . . . new dreams.
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