No Take Backs

One of the ways I get myself down is by thinking about all the ways I have been failing God.

It starts with a good thought like, "Oh I should read my Bible," and then quickly turns to, "I've been really bad about reading my Bible. I know better, and I should be reading it in all my free time and I never do it. Oh my . . . I've been such a hypocritical brat and I am so behind in my devotional life. I can never catch up to where I should be." Then I end up on the couch stalking people on Facebook or writing a blog post ;).

I get in this stupid mentality that I have to make up for all the ways I've failed before I feel like I'm actually doing something right. What a disgusting thought. I can't take back failures. They are already done. The damage has already set in. There is no way to go back and catch back up to where I should be. There is only moving forward with the knowledge I gain from previous mistakes. When I repent God isn't going to say "okay but what about this and that time? We have to go back and make up for that before we can move on." I could never make up for my failures. They are too great to overcome, at least for me anyway. If it weren't for what Christ did for me they would have already landed me in hell. I can't make my wrongs right, because my deeds will never be enough. Christ already righted my wrongs by paying the price.

What I can do is choose to do right from this point on. Sure I've stumbled in the past but that doesn't have to keep me from moving on today. I have got to stop thinking "Well I should have done . . . back then." I need to start learning from my mistakes so that I can make the right decision now and in the future. That whole repentance and forgiveness thing isn't a one shot deal. It's a life long process. As I keep repenting God keeps forgiving. I don't have to go back and pick up where I left off. I get to start right here where I am. Talk about grace . . .

If only I could give that same kind of grace to the people in my life rather than expecting them to make up for the ways they have failed me. If only I could be Christ to people in my life.

Oh wait . . . that's what I'm called to be.