On Blogging and Prayer, two unrelated thoughts bouncing around in my head . . .

I'm learning how to blog. Didn't realize I had to learn so much about blogging before I started doing it so frequently.

My purpose in blogging is to share life. I hope to encourage at least one person or give someone something to relate to. That is what I enjoy when I read blogs. Relating. It is nice to come across someone who understands what you are going through or writes enjoyably about something lots of people experience. Affirmation. It has been my experience that we often search for affirmation. Whether it is about feelings, ideas, or what shirt looks best on us, we want to know we are doing something right. We desire that go ahead.

I don't want my blog to be a public diary. I want to show raw emotion, because I know people can relate to that, but I don't want to whine, complain, hurt people, ya know . . . diary stuff. :) lol . . . (I had a nasty diary about my little sister when I was a kid. I read it to her once . . . I was evil.)

The thing is, this is harder than it may seem. You get to writing something and ooo it sparks this over there and ooo that leads to this feeling or thought. It kind of gets away from you. Thankfully, I can edit things out. One thing I'm learning is that sometimes I need to write and walk away from a post for a day or so before publishing, so that I can edit it when I'm not necessarily living in those emotions. A lesson I have also learned is that writing may bring up some feelings I haven't worked out in my real life. I may need to have conversations face to face before I go posting about an issue online. Although, if it is something I wanted to share anyway I will probably do that . . . Like I said, I want to share the raw. I relate to raw. But I don't want a post surprising someone or offending them because I wasn't willing to have a real conversation with my friends or family who love me and want to know my life. (That is something I enjoy about blogging . . . I realize things I need to talk out with someone. Writing has always been therapeutic . . . )

That's just it. This is my life. Right now my life is hard, which is why I have been inspired to blog. But I'm not safe behind a computer screen. I can't just say whatever I want to without having to back it up in person. People I actually know and encounter on a daily basis will read these things, and I will be held accountable for the things I say. Kinda like my husband's preaching. I hear those sermons, so he better live it out at home! Lol . . .  :) poor guy.

I like to think I write clearly, but I don't. Things make sense coming out of my head, because they are coming out of my head. This is true about writing and speaking. Sometimes people perceive things wrongly. In person, they can clarify. But that can't always happen in writing. Except here, because you can comment and ask questions! I encourage that. If I offend or confuse please ask away . . . if you see me in person I don't mind being asked about a blog post. I don't mind people posting disagreements either. I might ignore them, but hey post away. :) I also won't share everything here, so don't assume that if I am not blogging about it it isn't happening. I can't share everything for the world to see.

In no way do I want blogging to replace real relationships. I don't want to have an outlet for my feelings here, but no one to talk about them with when my computer is off. I just know that what I am experiencing in life isn't unique. There are others out there struggling with the same or similar issues. My goal is to make connections with people like me who I wouldn't otherwise get to meet. People who can share back. Who knows if that will ever actually happen, but here's for hoping.

Now onto prayer . . . and I'll be brief (or at least pretend I tried). I'm just learning how important it is to not underestimate the significance of prayer. It's a life line, people. Today I find myself in the midst of my crazy life feeling so confused and afraid, and there is only one thing I know to do. Pray. I've had to pause so many times today just to pray myself through.

I can recall many times when someone has said "Pray about it." I used to take that phrase as a cliche and not really seriously. Like, yeah yeah that's a nice thing to say, moving on. No seriously, pray about it. I can recall even more times when I've thought "I should pray about it." and then haven't prayed. Just because he knows your heart doesn't mean he doesn't want to hear about it! Imagine if we were all that way to each other. "Yeah I know you are going through some rough stuff, I just don't want to hear about it." Now, this might be true from time to time, but usually we want to be there for the people we care about. Hm . . . God too. We want them to choose to include us. God too . . .

Ongoing theme and challenge in my life is to pray and have faith. Lately, I've been so glad that faith the size of a mustard seed is capable of moving mountains. I've been coming up short on faith way more often than I would like to admit. I'm trying not to let fear win.

So pray for me. Please.